Tips for Managing Behaviour

Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and yet challenging roles we ever face. It can bring pure joy and happiness but also along the way some tough and difficult times. Here are some tips to help you manage some of the behaviour you may find challenging as your child develops.

1. Stay calm. When a child is expressing a lot of emotion, and the parents meet that with more emotion, it can increase the child’s aggression. Instead, try to keep calm, to prevent further stress and upset.
2. Help your child learn to express themselves by naming emotions. I can tell you’re really angry right now.” This helps your child recognise what they are feeling and encourages verbal, instead of physical expression.
3. Pause. Remember no one can hear what is being said when emotions are high. Make time to talk when calm and be positive in communicating. Listen and show you understand and allow silences.
4. Don’t give in to tantrums or aggressive behavior. If your child is having a tantrum at a shop because they want something, don’t give in and buy it. This is rewarding and reinforces the negative behavior.
5. Recognise your child being good. Reward good behavior, even when your child isn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. If dinnertime is problem-free, say, “I really like how you acted at dinner.” Treats and prizes aren’t necessary. Recognition and praise are powerful all on their own.
6. Know your child’s patterns and identify triggers. Do tantrums happen at certain times of days? If so, work on structuring your routines. Break down tasks into simple steps, and give time warnings, such as “We’re leaving in 10 minutes.” Set goals, such as making it to school on time four days out of five. Then reward your child when he or she meets those goals.
7. Find appropriate rewards. Don’t focus on financial or material goals. Instead, try rewards like half an hour of time with mam or dad, play a game, read a story, or let the child choose a film to family watch on movie night.

Useful Links:

How to Deal with Challenging Behaviour in Children (NHS)

If you need further support with your child's behaviour you should contact your Health Visitor, GP or school who will be able to advise you. Our Resilient Family Service may also be able to help.